Big Girls Don't Cry
by Dustbowl Dance
Summary: Dana's thoughts on her plane ride to France about PCA and all of her friends, and her theory as to why she always needed Logan's attention. DLish.


**Big Girls Don't Cry**

**A/N: So...While this fic is based off a song, it isn't a songfic. However, it would help to at least keep the song in mind while you read this. I apologize if I made Dana too out-of-character. Please review and let me know what you think.**

**BTW: I do not own Zoey 101, or any of its associated creations. I only own the plot, and that's not even saying much.**

"Dana, sweetie, are you almost ready?"

"Yeah Mom, just give me a second and I'll be right there." Dana threw in her journal, a pencil, and a few more pairs of socks into her suitcase, then zipped I up and carried it down the stairs to her kitchen.

"'Kay, Mom, that's the last of 'em," she told her mother, who at the moment was finishing loading the dishwasher. Her mother, Andrea Cruz, was a petite woman. She had the same kind of hair as Dana, but that was where the similarities ended. Andrea had grey eyes, and her facial features were slightly different than Dana's.

"Oh, Dana Isabelle," her mother said, turning to her. "I just can't believe it! It seems like just yesterday I was bringing you home from the hospital, and now you're all grown up and going to France!" she continued, teary-eyed.

"Mom, it's okay. I'll call you all the time. Besides, Aunt Sofya lives there. She'll look after me," Dana replied, trying to keep her feelings of homesickness at bay. Sure, she lived away from her parents when she was PCA during the school year, but at least then she was on the same continent. _I still can't believe it—France! _

"I know, sweetie. I'll just miss you, is all."

"I'll miss you too, Mom." Dana took a step forward, and mother and daughter embraced.

"Right. Now, let's go over your details," her mom started, breaking out of the hug.

"Mom! We've been over this a hundred times already!" Dana exclaimed, brushing her hair out of her eyes. "Daddy's driving me to the airport, and you'll both help me get on the plane. We're at Terminal B, Gate 7. Flight takes off at seven o'clock, eastern standard time, and I'll arrive in Paris at five in the morning, eastern standard time. My host family will pick me up and drive me to their house, and then I'll go over to school and register.

"Oh," her mother stated, taken aback. Clearly, Andrea hadn't realized how many times she had gone over the information. "Well, are you sure you have everything?"

"Yes, mom." Outside of the house, a horn beeped, letting Dana and her mom know it was time to go.

"Bye, baby. I love you," her mom said as they hugged again.

"I love you too, Mommy," she replied, quietly.

"Now go see Daddy. And have Fun!" Andrea helped Dana move her bags out to the car.

"Hey, kiddo," her dad greeted when he saw Dana. Although Andrea and Dana looked very different, it was clear that Dana and her father were related. They were of the same build and had the same coloring.

He gave her a hug, then greeted her mom with a quick kiss. Together, the three of them loaded Dana's bags into her dad's car. Then, Dana and her father Matt got into the car and drove to the airport.

At the airport, last-minute money was exchanged, and tearful goodbyes were said. After a half-hour delay, Dana boarded the plane. Luckily for her, she was the only passenger in her two-passenger row, so she was able to spread out her belongings on to the other seat. She bought a pair of headphones from the stewardess, and plugged them into the XM radio located on the back of the seat in front of her.

As a result of all of her feelings of excitement and anxiety, Dana couldn't sleep. She tried several times, but she couldn't calm down. Dana thought for several moments about what she could do to cure her boredom. She could do Sudoku, she could play solitaire, she could write...

Suddenly, Dana was struck with an idea. She could write them all letters, "them" being her friends at PCA. After all, she never told any of them she was going to France. She took out a legal pad and some pens, and began to write.

One by one, letters to Zoey, Nicole, Chase, Michael, and even Quinn were completed. They all were somewhat generic: first, she told them about the foreign exchange program; then, she explained what she would be doing in France; and finally, she made some light and friendly chatter, like the kind that would appear in a yearbook entry.

With Logan's letter, though, it was different. What would she say? What_ could_ she say that would adequately address their relationship, which was both more and less than a friendship? So much had happened between them. In an attempt to protect themselves, they had hurt each other.

_I might as well tell the truth_, she thought. _There's no harm in it._

So, with her favorite pen with the soft grippy thing in hand, she penned one of the hardest letters she ever had to write.

_Dear Logan,_

_You'll probably think this is so strange, getting a letter from me. Well, you're not the only one, so don't be so freaked out! And don't let your head get bigger either. :p Anyways, I'm writing this for many reasons, one of which is because I won't be seeing you any time soon._

_A while ago, I applied to be part of a foreign exchange program to France. I've always wanted to go to Europe, and this was golden opportunity. Because of my age, though, I didn't really think I'd get it. Luckily for me, however, they accepted me! My parents handled all of the paperwork, and when I arrived home, they gave me the news._

_So here I am._

_Right now I'm on a trans-Atlantic flight to Paris. There, I'll meet my host family, and they'll take me home with them. There's a daughter my age, so it should be pretty cool. Hopefully we'll be better roommates than Nicole and I initially were._

_In front of me is this old-ish guy who apparently doesn't realize that everyone can see him picking his nose._

_Thought you would appreciate that._

_I guess what I was trying to bring up before was that our relationship had nothing to do with my decision to go to France. You probably already figured that, but I wanted to be sure you knew. I always knew that we were never really "just friends", but I didn't want to be more than that. At the dance, I really __didn't__ want to make out with you. But afterwards I felt guilty that I had been so blunt. I basically stomped on your feelings._

_But apparently, you move on quickly. I saw you that day with Jessica. She's really pretty, and she's always been pretty nice to everyone, including me, so I can sorta see why you went for her. I never said anything, but I was coming to tell you that basketball practice was cancelled when I walked in on you guys kissing. For some reason, I felt crushed. Afterwards, I felt awkward around you. I never really understand why, if I didn't have feelings for you, I was so upset at the thought of you with another girl._

_I've thought about this long and hard over the past month, and I think I've come up with a theory. Although I have to say that you can't tell this to __anyone__, or else everyone would know my weakness. And I kinda want my legacy to be that I was the tough girl. I think that I need to feel loved, even though I have trouble with relationships. I've never had a boyfriend, so I've always had a hard time with the idea of putting all of myself into a relationship with someone. I really dunno why, but I feel like I need to be loved by someone outside of my family, to know that I'm lovable. Maybe it has to do with the insecurity of being single._

_So, what I'm really trying to say is that the tension between us was not your fault, and I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable._

_Now, I'm just letting you know that if you tell anyone what I said, I __will__ find out, and I will figure out a way to beat you up! Haha. But seriously, I'd appreciate it if you kept this between us. _

_I'm counting on you to get Chase and Zoey together, or even just closer. And watch out for Quinn, will ya? If left to her own devices, she __will__ hurt someone._

_Love(in a completely platonic way—don't get any ideas),_

_Dana Cruz_

Thinking about Logan and their friendship brought a new wave of homesickness washing over Dana, and she actually found herself missing Logan Reese. Tears came to her eyes, but she forced them back. _C'mon, Dana. Stay strong. It's time to be a big girl now, and big girls don't cry._


End file.
